As stated before in my introduction, I chose to write about positive psychology due to economic struggles individuals face, but recently I had experienced one of my biggest downfalls in my life. Not that long ago, my boyfriend (at the time) and I broke up after 3 years. This was my longest and my most life changing relationship. I understand that I am young to say I love someone, but only he and I know what goes behind closed doors, so only he and I can judge our relationship. It has been hectic for the last month and a half to focus on my studies and my life, but focusing on my blog helped distract my mind off the stressor for a bit. Since I am writing this blog to help increase one’s happiness, I thought it would be relevant to include one of my personal experiences. I have tried a variety of things to increase my happiness, and I would like to share with everyone. Hopefully after this post, you all can get to know me a little bit more and realize that achieving happiness is possible.
One important factor that distracted my mind off the break-up was having one of the biggest support networks (includes family, friends, and even strangers). Generally, I am a very happy person because of my networks, but when some incident such as the break-up occurred, it was hard to pick myself back up on my feet. My parents helped me clean out my apartment, throw away items that reminded me of the relationship, and took me out to shop and dine. Also, rather than having company from family, I also received love from my friends.
One important factor that distracted my mind off the break-up was having one of the biggest support networks (includes family, friends, and even strangers). Generally, I am a very happy person because of my networks, but when some incident such as the break-up occurred, it was hard to pick myself back up on my feet. My parents helped take my mind off the whole situation by checking up on me more than they used to, and doing whatever it takes to get my mind off it. For example, my parents helped me clean out my apartment, throw away items that reminded me of the relationship, and took me out to shop and dine. Also, rather than having company from family, I also received love from my friends.
Even though my friends and family distracted me, I felt that I needed to do something for myself. Since I am committed when participating in hobbies, I decided to continue learning how to snowboard. I went for my first time last year in December, but I decided to go two more times and learn how to better my techniques. My first time snowboarding was with my boyfriend (at the time), and there were not many fond memories because all we did was argue, and no one taught me how to stand up on the board, or even teach me how to ride down the mountains. Therefore, I was stuck on the mountain for more than an hour, and it was not pleasant especially when it was freezing cold. Not only did I master some basics, but it felt great to get out of the city and see the mountains; it was relaxing and I felt more freedom being in the outdoors.
Learning how to snowboard took my mind off the break-up, and had me thinking things for myself. What I mean by thinking things for myself includes focusing more on school, bettering myself, and trying to finish school so I can leave the city and start off new. Just being in the mountains gave me a sense of relief, and I thank my parents for also being supportive to helping me pay for all the expenses; to have them encourage me to engage in an expensive hobby means a lot. I think when we commit to learning a new sport or focusing on a new hobby, we distract our mind from all the current stressors. When you guys are stressing over something huge, such as like my break-up, try learning something new or going back to your old hobby; you’ll be happier than you may think. These two methods are not the only reasons to achieve happiness, but for me, these are the most influenced reasons why I am more positive today.
I took the time to share a bit of my personal life with you guys, and to show that you can become positive when you’re down in the dumps. When you guys are sad or going through some difficult situations, take the time to talk to the people you care about and commit into something new. Are there any other ways to achieve happiness that you guys use?
I really enjoyed this post since it is almost what I am going through now; this semester, especially. I have been very unmotivated this semester and almost wanted to quit school because of the tough economic times, and just hearing how my friends are struggling to find jobs really put me in despair. I also haven't been myself lately either and made a lot of bad decisions due to feeling unsatisfactory and being unhappy.
ReplyDeleteLove is confusing; it's a doubled edged sword. Break ups are always hard, I never been in a relationship, but from seeing it from other I can feel it. I think it's great that you have family that can do such things to make you happy. However, I really give you props for being able to refresh yourself by exploring and aiming for new goals. I think sometimes people are too concerned with how others are in a relationship or too worried of being single and they forget about themselves and their passions.
I totally agree with you, when you are dedicated to make something happen that you enjoy, it does get your mind off all the crap in life. I know because this is the exact reason why I play tennis, it's a stress reliever for me. I am also VERY HAPPY I was able to realize where a lot of my unhappniess and bad decisions was coming and it was because I wasn't doing Photography. I realized that doing only half of my passions in life isn't enough and that I have to do all that I can possibly do to be normal self. I am so going back to doing it.
Great post! (your second paragraph is repeated :D )
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s cool how you related it to happiness, which we discuss in Howell’s class (Psy 300). Going snowboarding to achieve happiness reminded me of one of the surveys that we took in Howell’s class that talked about buying experiences to make ourselves happier and it seems that in your case, that was very beneficial.
ReplyDeleteI like your snowboarding picture, and the description you gave of the mountains and snow through your writing. It painted a visual picture for me.
When I went through a similar situation as yours, I found it helpful to reevaluate what I want out of my life, including the people that I choose to be in my life, as well as the place that I want to be and the goals that I want to achieve.
In doing this, I let out all of my feelings and emotions through writing, journaling, which I’ve been doing since I was in high school. It served as a type of therapy almost, and as I went deep within myself to discover what I really wanted out of my life, I came to a point where I was okay with letting some people go (if they want to be in my life, they will be, and if they don’t want to be in my life, then they won’t be). This process took some time, but once I got “over it” (which is still an ongoing process) and let go of all that I was holding on to, I became a much happier person, and today I can say that I am genuinely happy.
So I can conclude in saying, being honest and true with yourself in how you feel about a situation (even if that means realizing and then accepting that you are angry, sad, heart broken, hurt, or disappointed) can help to heal from the pain that you may feel.
Awesome post! And again thank you for sharing.
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteBreakups are a b****. Having that one person you can call whenever, talk to whenever, and be around whenever, suddenly gone is a tough void to fill quickly. Despite trying to "ignore it" that emptiness still lingers. I've been there. You're lucky because you have a great support system - try going through it by yourself, its pretty tough.
Of course new guys won't replace what you had, but life is all about new experiences and remembering the good times.
Dwelling on what you used to have will prevent you from finding what you deserve!
So grab your girls, get dolled up and head out to the clubs for dancing - and won't it be nice NOT to have to answer to a jealous boyfriend later.
Good luck!
First things first, I loved your song...I love dead mou5e, I love trance in general, I follow djs everywhere..Great taste...I am sorry to hear that you broke up with your boyfriend after 3 years...It can be hard when you thought the relationship will last for long time. But, remember life is too short and you better enjoy each moment as your last day! You have supporting family and friends. Be strong, be positive, get energize. After all you are young and the future is so bright for you! Remember you are one amazing lady! i wish you the best year to come!
ReplyDeleteI have gone through a couple break ups in my life and I can relate and agree when you say they can be very stressful! I know that when going from spending so much time with someone and loving one person so much like you love no one else, and then not having them around can be very hard. I agree with taking on a hobby or going back to another hobby to keep you distracted from a break up, or from any hardships you may be facing. And yes, it is always helpful to have the support from family and friends! You just have to stay positive and energized, because if you are moping around by yourself you will probably only feel worse.
ReplyDelete